Patsy Young was born in Austin, Texas, on January 22, 1939. My parents grew up on a farm. Mom was from Pleasanton, Tx, and my Dad was from Leming, Tx. Later, they moved to Austin. I have two older brothers, but both have passed now.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR GROWING-UP YEARS
I grew up in South Austin with many neighbors, and one of my favorite things to do was watch my neighbor across the street cook dinner every evening. One of our neighbors had a son who would come home and visit from the military. I always found that very interesting.
Tell us about your youngest years from birth through elementary
I liked school. We played kickball which was so fun. One of my favorite memories was when my science teacher would open all our classroom windows after lunch (we did not have air conditioning back then), and she would read books from the Lassie series to the class. We sat still and got to cool off after the morning classes and kickball.
Tell us about school, including your favorite childhood memory
I had a lot of friends. We had a music teacher, Mrs. Leudecke, who was an inspiration. She had us learn music for our Christmas program on Townlake. We wore the same outfits and performed through 6th grade for various performances.
Tell us about growing up during junior high and high school
I attended Fulmore Jr. High and Travis High School. I was in the first 10th-grade class that opened the brand-new school. Mrs. Falk, my homemaking teacher, had a big impression on me. She often talked about how there were so many responsibilities at home. Her husband was connected with the University of Texas athletics and would share stories with us. I loved learning about cooking and homemaking skills. I took shorthand and was unsure how popular it was, but I was told it was a good thing to know for someone entering a business.
I took shorthand and typing for two years. Due to my typing skills, I was asked to take dictation for our school principal. I could use him as a reference as I applied for jobs. My typing speed was 120 words per minute, and I could have quickly gone into court reporting, but I didn’t think I would like it.
What year did you graduate from high school?
I graduated in 1956. I took the Civil Service and Merit System tests to work for the state. I passed and could have easily gone to work at Bergstrom Airforce Base; however, my parents wouldn’t let me. They thought I would be vulnerable to the soldiers’ attention as I had very protective parents.
Favorite high school memory
It was a time to grow up. As many of us didn’t have transportation to school, I had to walk about three miles daily to school. There were no buses either. Mom always made my lunch. Four or five of us in my school had the same first name and ran around together. Patsy was a popular name! We would hang out after school and always eat lunch together. Some have passed on, but the rest of us stayed in touch over the years. One of the Patsy’s, Patsy Beckham, was in my wedding but unfortunately passed on.
I worked at the Texas Employment Commission state office in the personnel office. There were lots of conflicts and exciting conversations. New state offices were being built by the capital, so it was very nice working conditions. I worked there for eight years.
After eight years of marriage, we adopted our daughter, RayAnn Young. RayAnn was three days old when we took her home from the hospital, and four years later, we adopted our son, Randall Derek Young. All our babies were adopted young as little babies.
SPOUSE
How, where, and when did you meet your husband?
I met Bobby Ray Young in high school. I worked at a drugstore, and Bobby and his brothers would come in to take a break from studies and get a Coke. Then, Bobby and I talked a lot, and he asked if he could take me home after work. We had a great relationship. He was in college and was seven years older than me. We fell in love, married, and lived happily ever after.
The drug store had two telephone booths near the entrance because not everyone had a phone at home in those days. You might think that strange in today’s world, but that was life as we knew it.
What MEMORIES ARE SPECIAL?
We got married on Thanksgiving Day. Bobby was still in school and had a holiday, so we chose that day for our wedding. However, in 1956, two Thanksgiving Days were being celebrated. The country decided to celebrate Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of the month as the official date. Unfortunately, I had ordered the cake and thought it would be the 3rd week. The bakery called and said the cake was ready for pickup. I had to get the cake and put it in my mother’s freezer for a week, hoping it would still taste delicious. Thankfully it did, and we were officially married in Austin, Texas, on the nationally recognized Thanksgiving Day.
How long were you married?
We married in 1956, and Bobby died in 2019, giving us 53 wonderful years together—the kids held a big party for our 50th wedding anniversary.
Our wedding was held at our church with family and friends. He was a Christian when we met—baptized in the Baptist church. After Rayann was born, some men at the Church of Christ worked with him in his faith and told him to strengthen our family; he needed to be baptized in the Church of Christ. He did as they suggested, and we had a big celebration.
Bobby and I had adopted our little girl, and I stayed home with her for two years. My work kept calling me to return to work, so I went back for four more years.
After we adopted our son, I stayed home, got involved with all their fun school affairs, and never returned to outside work. I enjoyed their play dates, preschool, taking them to school, and involvement in PTA.
I once held a fashion show for the parents, which was fun!
Of our children, our daughter, Rayann, has two girls and one boy. Our oldest granddaughter, Laura, has three boys, and our other granddaughter, Rebecca, has one boy. Rayann’s boy does not have any kids yet. So, all in all, I have four incredible great-grandsons!
My four great-grandsons bring me such happiness! They send me things in the mail. They know when I am coming to Virginia and can’t wait to see me. Our son lives here with me in Houston. His name is Randall (Randy), and he is a big help and takes care of me. He is a computer geek!
WHAT IS Your favorite memory together?
We were blessed before we were separated by death to complete our bucket list of traveling together. We went on a cruise to most national parks, Galveston cruises, Alaska, and the Panama Canal. We had a camper, and we traveled a lot. We did most of what we had on our list. We went on many road trips to Virginia to see our daughter and would take different routes. Then, we started flying there to visit her.
What happened to your spouse, and When did he pass?
Bobby had cancer. He took treatments and did all he could; after the doctors said they had done all they could, he came home and died at home.
TELL US ABOUT YOU
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES?
I love bridge, quilting, cooking, and planning my bridge menu for my friends to have done beforehand. I like to entertain. My favorite food is blueberry scones, and I make them every Saturday. I made them for that special event when we had the widow’s tea party. My son loves my scones. My favorite entree is medium sirloin steak. I’m a steak person.
DO YOU LIKE TO COOK?
Yes, I like to cook! I am known for my blueberry scones. I still enjoy cooking today!
SPIRITUAL LIFE
HOW, WHEN, AND WHERE DID YOU COME TO KNOW JESUS?
I grew up in a Christian home. I walked to church with my mom. I was in Sunday school and was baptized there. My dad was baptized later than me. I was so happy when he made that decision. He was brought up Baptist; his sister played piano. We had no car, so my dad rode the bus to work. We walked about two blocks to church.
I am a member of the Sugar Grove Church of Christ.
ABOUT WIDOWHOOD
What was your biggest challenge to overcome in being a NEW WIDOW?
It is getting used to not having Bobby here. Bobby could do everything. We were in our home for 40 years, and his presence is still missed. I would tell a new widow that it will get better, it’s hard now, but it will get better.
What was your biggest challenge to overcome in being a widow TODAY?
It is getting things fixed. Bobby could fix anything. He painted the house, did the yard work, and worked on the car. It’s a struggle for me to ask for help.
What IS THE BEST advice you give to someone facing the loss of their spouse?
I tell them to get their finances in order if I know them well and not to give more advice than they need now. It’s all you can do. Being there for your husband and his needs is what is most important.
WHO HELPED YOU THE MOST DURING WHEN YOUR HUSBAND DIED?
My daughter was my most significant help. They took care of all the insurance. My son-in-law knows how to do all those things. They live in Virginia. I go up there 3-4 times a year. I go at least once a year when the cherry blossoms are blooming. I enjoy that so much! I also love that Virginia has four actual seasons.
In approaching the holiday season as a widow
What advice would you give widows facing their first holiday season without their spouse? Make a point to be with other people. You don’t want to stay by yourself. I always go to be with my daughter. At home, I got a little Christmas tree to put up. I have bridge parties and have my home decorated a little bit. Not like I used to. I go to my daughter’s, where they go all out with the decorations.
What things did you do to find purpose again after the loss of your spouse?
I play in several bridge groups. I got back to playing with them as quickly as I could. It puts your mind on something specific. I tried to stay with the usual schedule that I had. Friends would invite me to places to have lunch and check in on me. They helped me too. Then, I could handle it myself. I am staying involved in church. We have a group email, check in with each other, and share if we need anything. We all live in different areas but still check in with each other.
Is there anything you STRUGGLE with now that we can help you with?
I’m able to take care of things. I have a yard, man. I can handle expenses now.
How has our widow’s program helped and blessed you?
It’s been a big blessing. To see people again and be socially involved. The programs have been outstanding. Meeting new people is fun and a blessing in my life. It feels good to continue seeing many of our ladies being involved and making friends with each other. This ministry helps us connect and provides the missing link for those without spouses.
ANY ADDITIONAL INFORMATION YOU WANT TO SHARE?
Be all that you can be! At any age, you can still be an influence for good.