Day-to-day life in America is becoming increasingly disturbing, even with Father’s Day approaching. With all the anxiety and stress revealed on the nightly news, no wonder our sense of normality is all but gone. So many in our country have lost dads and husbands because of unexpected violence that this Father’s Day, there will be a lot of emptiness at the dinner table.
Father’s Day, when everyone celebrates Father’s, which represents one half of the strength of the family unit, for many will not be a time of celebration this year. This is the time for the surviving mothers to assume complete responsibility for the entire family. Unfortunately for her, she will have to assume her own role as mom and be a dad to their children while suffering from her own personal grief of the loss of her spouse and life partner.
This newfound status in life will bring an unexpected revelation that most of your friends will not know how to handle. While you are trying to comfort your children and give them a sense of security, you may feel as if everyone has abandoned you.
Mom’s, first let us talk about you personally. You need to have some private time alone where you can grieve, let out your feelings, and expel some emotions that have been captive inside you. Especially if your loss has been recent. Then spend some time holding your children in your arms and openly talk with them about how you feel and then encourage them to open up and share their feeling to you. This is not a time to hide or be superficial. Be open and honest, because you are all suffering. This is a very tough day for each of you. Use this time to bond closer than ever before in your relationship. You will all gain strength from each other and your children will feel more secure.
I know you are dreading Father’s Day. Your feelings will be mixed and you need to know, that is okay. One may express sadness. Another anger. Another shares a funny story about dad and more, but these emotions and more are okay. Dad was real in your life. He meant something to each one of you. Remember and talk about special times. How much you miss him and speak his name openly. It is important to not hide your feelings. The more you share, the better you will feel.
I suggest after you have bonded and expressed your feelings, now, go out and celebrate dad. Don’t be sad or be jealous of the other lucky families you see that now possess what you had. Instead, remember that no one else had what you had. Your dad, your husband provided a special meaning that all the other families never knew existed. So, celebrate on Father’s Day his special gift to each of you and the fact you had the privilege of experiencing him who was unique in your life.
Remember that today, there are going to be a lot of other families going through similar situations. A lot of families will have an empty chair at the dinner table. They will be hurting just like and one of the best ways to help your grief is to reach out and offer comfort to another family. You know how they feel and you can help them in their grief. They may need a yard mowed, a meal, a trip to get groceries, etc. Helping others is one of the ways you can actually, help yourself. I just want to believe if your dad was here, he would be that servant to a hurting family and now you can carry on his legacy. I pray for you on this Father’s Day.